Today I am thankful for a marriage free from conflict and strife. As many of you know, I have been married four times. The first three were not easy relationships, in fact they were miserable and abusive. I am not going into that here, it’s all been said elsewhere.
I have no one to blame but myself for making poor choices in partners. When asked why I chose one or another I can only plead temporary (or not so temporary) insanity, but in my defense I can honestly say I tried my hardest in each one. Ultimately it takes two to make a marriage work.
When seeking a marriage partner this time, I wanted someone who was the opposite of all that… someone stable, reliable, trustworthy, drug free, affectionate, fun-loving, and CALM. God gave me all that and so much more with Papa Bear.
We do not argue, and I take exception with people who say that arguments are just part of marriage. I am not saying that we never disagree, because occasionally we do, but we do that respectfully, being careful of each other’s feelings. There is no yelling or screaming, no calling each other names or bringing up things from the past, no saying or doing things meant to hurt. No throwing things or smashing things, or slamming doors; no stone cold silences for hours or days either. Memories of hurtful words spoken can last a lifetime.
I remember how I used to dread nights and weekends in my past marriages, because I knew problems were sure to arise. There were times when I really felt like I just wanted to die and end all the hurt. Continual conflict can make you feel pretty hopeless. Really, it is just dumb to argue all the time, and it makes life so unhappy.
In this marriage we make it a rule to never go to sleep angry with each other, and to never part angry. I know people who have lived a lifetime of regret over the last words spoken before something happened to one partner or the other. Those rules should apply to all relationships.
Papa Bear and I agree that if we had met and married when we were younger our marriage probably would not have lasted, we were both a lot more stubborn and hotheaded back then. Those years and our previous relationships taught us what we don’t want, and we both are determined that our marriage and our home will be free of conflict.
Later this month Papa Bear and I will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary, and just as he promised me, our love for each other has grown stronger with each passing day… it is amazing! He has taught me that love is real, and that people who love each other treat each other with kindness and care.
In my case, God truly did save the best for last, when I would appreciate it all the more. ♥️