This is my seventh year of participation in the A to Z Challenge. My intent this year is to share a little bit about me each day… the good, the bad, and the ugly… so you can get to know “the woman behind the words” a little better!
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about twelve years ago. It is one of those diseases that other people can’t see and often don’t understand. It causes me a lot of soreness and pain, and ever-present fatigue; but I am one of the lucky ones for whom it is not so severe as to be disabling. Stress is one of the biggest triggers of a flare for me; if something really upsets me, it is almost guaranteed that I will spend the next few days feeling like I have the flu. At this stage, I decline prescription medications for it because I don’t like the risk of serious side effects.
Along with the Fibro, I have arthritis in my hands and knees and issues with my lower spine, so standing or walking for extended periods of time is painful; climbing stairs is difficult, and getting down on my hands and knees to clean is impossible. Still, considering my age, I am relatively healthy. Not surprisingly, my blood pressure returned to normal when I quit working. :-))
Faith is the most important thing in my life, without it I would be lost! I was raised in the Lutheran church, but consider myself a non-denominational Christian now, and I also embrace some of the beliefs from other world faiths. I believe that we all come from the same Creator and return to the realm of Spirit when we leave this earth.
There were years in my young adult life, and again later as an adult when I rebelled against God entirely. I was angry and I didn’t see how there could be any God when there was so much hurt and suffering in the world. The more people tried to preach religion to me, the further I pushed them away. What I didn’t realize at that time, was that I was also shutting God out of my life, but He hadn’t left me for even a minute.
For a few years in my early twenties I was a member of a religious group that was considered a cult by many. The tenants of their faith represented many of the things I di and still do believe in. This caused no end of issues with my parents. But at one point I finally decided there were things connected with that group and some of its followers that I couldn’t sanction, so I left it… after being warned by group leaders that I was surely resigning myself to damnation for doing so. Scary stuff.
In my late thirties I went through some things that caused me to re-evaluate my position on being an atheist. I can tell you that life without faith is a life without order, purpose, or hope… and it’s a very scary place to dwell. Thanks to a couple wonderful friends who didn’t preach but rather exemplified the teaching of Christ in their lives, I relinquished my stubborn rebellion and gave my life back to God. I’ve never questioned or waivered on that since, and I know I never will. Faith gets me through each day, and prayer is my ever present connection. I know that prayer works… I see evidence of it every day in my life! You won’t often see me preaching on my blog, but you will hear me talking about the role faith plays in my life, I am so, so very thankful that I finally understand!
One last F-word I’d like to share about myself. No, not that f-word, I detest the use of it as a part of everyday speech and the need some people seem to have to include it in every sentence. To me that shows a lack of intelligence and education, find better words to express yourself!
Anyway, I digress… the f-word I wanted to share is my life long tendency to neglect to follow through on things I start or good intentions. It is said that “the road to hell is paved with good intentions,” and if that’s the case I have surely paved many miles of it! My mind continually thinks of things I’d like to do, good things, nice things, helpful things… and yet it seems hard for me to actually put that in motion and just DO IT!
The same goes for following through and finishing things that I start. I could be a poster child for Adult ADD. I start something and quickly lose interest or get distracted by something else. I have to really work to stay focused on a project or complete a plan.
Letting things fall by the wayside is not something I proud of, and I am trying to do better. I have also learned to take on less, because if I feel overwhelmed by things to do it is sure to result in me shutting down and doing nothing productive at all.
As I note frequently, I am a work in progress and I will be ’til the day I die, but I am better than I used to be! 🙂
Does faith play a role in your life? Are you good about finishing things you start?
Links to my previous 2018 A-Z Posts: